How To: Play Sports Like a Geeky Girl

Play Sports Like a Geeky Girl

The stereotypical geek is not good at sports. Think about it, we're known for spending time in dark basements doing weird stuff that has nothing to do with running around and being active. So we're known for our inability to play sports, but I wouldn't call it an inability so much as a creative way of passing these challenges by the skin of our teeth. Examples:

  • When playing baseball, take center field. ALWAYS CENTER FIELD! Make sure you have two really athletic people on either side of you, make sure they know that you are not an athletic person. This will make it so that you only have to cover the two feet in front of you. Where nothing ever falls.
  • When playing dodge-ball, don't try to actually get anyone out. Just dodge with all your might. Come on, your dark elf character in DnD has a +9 to his agility, surely you can dodge some balls being thrown by guys with a lower IQ than your cat!
  • Learn a simple layup and a two point shot. You'll shock their socks off when you play basketball. I can beat my extremely athletic cousin in a game of 21 because I taught myself how to shoot a relatively simple basket.
  • Soccer. Don't look at me. I intentionally avoid this one. Pretend to sprain your ankle or something.
  • Summer brings volleyball. Just GET UNDER THE BALL and you'll be fine. Just volley. volley. volley. And serve, a good serve can score like 10 point in a row for your team. If you cannot serve then try even harder to get under the ball, and take it to the top of your head. Fake a concussion. You'll have to sit out the game, and no one will blame you.
  • Don't even try with gymnastics... just sprain or tear something... really...

Okay... so a lot of Geeky Girl ways of playing sports is just faking an injury. I've saved the best for last: ICE SKATING!! The only sport where it's a good thing if you don't know how to do anything! Easiest hand holding excuse EVER! "oh, Harold... I don't know how to skate very well... will you help me??" ;)

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